My Grandmother Ong Chay

All these years, I thought ama (grandmother in Minnan) belongs to the Ong 王 family. It is only today when I saw her grave that I realized her last name is Tan 陳. Her Chinese name is 陳謚. She was born in 1898 in Fujian, Jinjiang, E-ni 福建晋江下輦. She passed away at age 82.

The ama that I remembered has her hair combed back and wears a Chinese traditional dress for women, just like the one in the picture. Ama stayed with my Uncle Jose who is the eldest son. From time to time I will see her during family get together. A vague memory was the day when I went to the temple with her. We rode a kalesa (horse drawn cart) and went to the temple on Magdalena St. I remember her lotus feet, the incense and the delicious vegetarian meal.

I also remember one afternoon in our apartment, I sat in front of ama and talked to her. I was probably a teenager at that time. I really do not remember what we talked about. Now that I am doing this research about our family, I wish I asked her more questions. But the challenge is, during that era, a child is not allowed to ask to many questions. As they say, be seen and not be heard.

Other bits and pieces of information comes when my father will mention things like, "during the Japanese invasion, we had to go to the mountain province, the Igorots were carrying her because of her lotus feet". In 1980, she fell, broke a bone and passed away. I was in college at that time. I vaguely remember that my uncle Macario who is a physician said something about a blood clot to her lungs. I was also told that she gave birth to fourteen children. Based on the record on the tombstone, there twelve of them, six males and six females. When I was born, I only met seven of them.

As I write this, I feel that even though family is a big factor in the propagation of the Chinese culture and the survival of many of the overseas Chinese, there is really a big gap in the preservation of our history. One reason I can think of is that "saving face" is very important in the Chinese culture. There are probably many things that cannot be said publicly, even among relatives. thus, I have a lot of work to do to follow the trail and pick up the piece. For me, this is an interesting project.

Another thought that constantly comes to mind is, why am I doing this? Since none of my previous ancestors put the family history together, I would like to pass to my son and daughter and my nephews a book/history where they can begin to trace their root if they so desire in the future.